My next story!! I couldnt get a suitable title.

I hated my stepfather.

There was no particular reason.

I was closer to my dad than to my mom. He was more of my friend than a father and we used to spend time talking to each other, playing games both indoor and outdoor in which even my mom joined .We were a small, happy family and things had toppled over in a day ,without a warning, without a clue and his death left me lonely as more than a father, I lost a friend.

I could not accept the fact that my father was no more and that my mother remarried and I went on for months without talking to her. According to me, now, she was a selfish person who cared just about her own well being.

Her constant attempts to patch up with me did not work as I made it harder for her to live with me in the house. As days passed, conversations remained to just basic stuffs and the moment ‘he’ entered the room, I used to walk off.

To top it all, I carried this unusual idea in my head that step fathers are out to molest their step daughters and just for that reason, I carried a kind of fright inside of me whenever I was alone in the house with him and if by any chance he even brushed past me, I used to glare at him angrily. It had happened to a close friend of mine and I remember the first time she confided it to me about how her step father treated her.

It put me in a daze as that was the first time I was getting the taste of the harsh world outside. I can never even imagine a father doing that be it your own father or step father. She had later moved out of town and ever since then there was no news about her even though she promised to keep in touch.


My best friend used to laugh at me whenever I said this to him.

‘You are crazy girl! Pure crazy gal of 17!’

He was a half geek, with black rimmed round spectacles which he never took off. I used to think , he even slept with them on; and a friendly smile and friendly he was to everyone around him .Infact I cannot say he was just ‘my’ best friend, he was everyone’s best friend.


'Crazy or not, I always trust my instinct! '

'Instinct? Do you have one? He seems to be a nice guy. Looks like a loving father!You have been reading quite a lot of nasty stuff I feel!! '


And I never could make out if he said that sarcastically or if he meant it.


Neither did I want to know. I had carved myself a niche and was living in the same with peace. I did not want to break it open and get out. I was still scared of him.

Of him and an other total stranger. He used to sit on one of the wooden benches on the lane leading from the school .An old guy of about sixty, unshaven, unclean and shabbily dressed with a lost look lingering on his eyes.

And those same eyes used to follow me as I passed by him along with my friends. I used to hate him that very instant. Cant take his eyes off a girl!- I used to think as loathe filled inside of me.
‘ He looks like a beggar!’ I once told my friend as we both sat trying to solve a puzzle from one of those flashy books full of puzzles that was gifted to him by his uncle. He loved solving puzzles and being with him, the same interest grew into me too ,kind of like an infection.

‘ Who? Your step father??’,he asked without looking up.

‘ That guy who we see outside school everyday!’

He still did not look up.

‘ I do not know why he looks at me that way .I hate him.I wonder what he thinks while looking at me like that..!’

He now looked up with a blank stare ‘ Can you explain to me why you feel as if all the old men out there are lusting on you?!’

He shook his head unbelievingly and he had a funny look on his face

‘ I never said that!’

‘ Oh you sure do act like that!’, I thought he sounded angry.

‘ Why should you get angry at me for that?!’ , I sounded angry now.

‘Am not angry, I am just concerned.’

‘Concern doesn’t sound angry!’ I retorted back.

‘Am not angry , I swear!’

‘oh yes you are’, I grew more angry and I did not know why . I took my bag and walked out of the room, slamming it hard behind me and leaving him looking after me with disbelief.

I even marched past his mom , stomp – stomp – stomp and slammed the main door behind me again. Bang!! I wonder what impression has that left upon her.

Once outside, I walked grumpily , muttering things to myself , I even scorned and tried to frighten a cute little baby that was staring at me confused if it should smile .It started crying- I felt like Uncle Scrooge. I thought of going to the school library and I proceeded that way. I reached the empty lane that lead to our school grounds, both its sides lined with trees and bushes . It was the start of autumn and it looked beautiful .It was a burst of many colours and for some reason it stood out ,making me notice it, the mature yellows, the raw green and the very beautiful reds all merging into each other ….

I looked around me and after making sure no one was there, I started screaming- a small outlet of my anger. It was a small scream, small but intense and I saw some birds fly out in a startled manner – startled by my scream?Could be.

I sat down on one of the benches and tried to sort out my thoughts, the evening was peeping in and it must have been around quarter to 4 when suddenly I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I got up startled and turned around to see the stranger behind me. For a moment I wondered where did he pop out from and slowly it marinated into anger and then fright!

He said a feeble ‘hi’ to me

‘ how dare you touch me!!’, I screamed at him. ‘ how dare you’ , I felt anger and fright fill up inside me .

‘No…I ’

‘ Get lost you filthy old man! Get lost before I call the cops!’ I screamed like a mad girl breaking his sentence and not allowing him to speak as he took two steps towards me. For a moment I think I saw pain in his eyes but before he could say anything more, I started running .I ran away from there and towards my house and something flashed across my mind. My mom wanted to speak to me other day and I had denied to do so as I thought I knew what exactly is it that she wanted to talk to me about. The usual ‘ why are you like this’ questions and about how I must try to love my step father the way I had loved my own father.

I was in the kitchen with her having my lunch when she said she needs to talk to me about something serious.

Before she could say anything I told her ‘ I cannot love anyone the way I loved my father!! Not even you !’, I knew my voice was louder than normal and there was a look of disbelief on her face.

‘Would you at least allow me to speak first before you say something dear?.’ she said

‘ I cant understand how easy its for you to forget Dad and live with someone else! He was different and no one can take his place for me! And I have always been uncomfortable even with you after you married again!! There is no use trying to convince me mom! It is not going to work out!’ I continued without heeding to what she was trying to tell me.

And that’s when she broke into tears completely taking me by surprise.

She was always so strong in front of me whenever I lost my temper or threw tantrums like she understood my being not able to accept her marriage or my new father but cry- that was the first time and it hurt me too and I tried to deny it .

I turned and walked out to see him standing by the main door , the conversation seemed to have stopped him as he entered the house . He looked at me as I walked to my room and slammed the door. I was hurt inside , hurt for being so rude and the same carried on within me the next day ,when I picked up the fight with my friend and all this ran through my head as I ran breathlessly to my house.

When I reached , I hesitated, I started getting this premonition of something bad to happen. Maybe it was the negative attracting more negative as it was happening since morning, the fight, the old man and now something tugging at my heart and wanting to make me cry as I was about to enter home.

My stepfather was seated on the couch and he looked as if he were waiting for me.

I walked past him and was about to enter my room when he called my name. I was expecting it- premonition again. I turned to look at him . He had a grave look on his face and he seemed unsure of what to tell me.

‘What is it?’, I tried to sound brave.

‘I need to talk to you. If we could sit down..’ there was a hesitancy in his voice.

‘Where is mom?!’ I asked him before he could finish his sentence.

‘She will be back soon.’

‘Oh, Ok , I get it, she has asked YOU to speak to me now , right?’, I said that as I felt a small panic fill inside me at the knowledge my mom was not in the house.

He shook his head ‘ You are thinking too much ..’

I stared at him not saying a word and was about to turn and go back into my room again

‘Your mom is sick’ he said it behind me and it felt like someone else’s voice, like it was not natural.

I turned to look at him ‘ What’s wrong?’, there was no emotion whatsoever in my voice . I tried to make it sound casual – a cold, a fever?

‘ Its something really bad . Am afraid… cancer’

I did not say anything. He waited to see a response and then continued unsure ‘ The doctor’s don’t have … much hope that …’ he stopped to look at me as his voice cracked. I felt pure pain in it.

I kept staring at him
He continued ‘ that… she would live long’

I stood there for a moment as if I did not hear what he said. Suddenly I felt I was in some nightmare and this was not happening to me. I felt as if my ears had shut up and I could hear a constant whining ‘zzzzzzzz’ on my ears.

I looked at him ‘ I hate you…’. He moved towards me

‘ no, please don’t come near me’ I told him as I crept backwards to a corner and stood there.

‘you are lying…you are a liar’, I tried to scream at him but instead it came out in a feeble voice.

He shook his head again .

It couldn’t be happening to me. First my dad… now my mom. I wanted to laugh. Laugh at the games life was throwing in front of me and challenging me and then I felt my feet give away as I slipped down crying.

My mom had gone to the hospital to meet up with her doctor. She wanted to tell me about this that day in the kitchen which I had not allowed her to do so, the frustration and tension of which had made her cry.She cried at the thought of how far we had grown apart from each other and about the thought of me being all alone when she was gone.

My stepfather explained all this to me as I sat huddled up in the corner of the couch, sobbing as he made me drink something hot.As he talked, trying to keep the pain out of his voice, for the first time, I saw something in his eyes that I never saw before, compassion, kindness . He wanted to reach out to me so badly just like my mother.

‘ I know you can never see me the same way like how you saw your dad…. But I want you to know, that I have never seen you as a step- daughter. For me, you were always my daughter and I love you and your mother with all my heart.’

A tear slipped down my eyes

‘ I know you hate me… but am willing to do anything to make you feel at ease with me. I don’t want you to think you only have a mother. I want you to realize that you have a father too…’ he said it slowly and with so much sincerity in his voice that made me cry all the more. He did not have to do this for a person like me…so hard to please, so annoying..so…

That evening went off in a haze .Mom returned and I had gone to meet her in her room.

She looked weak and in pain. I held her tight for the first time in years and told her that I love her.I did love her. Just that , I was late to realize it…. and as I sat there with her holding her , I felt the weight that was pushing itself on me for the past two days lift itself up and melt away.

I called up my friend the next day and he sensed then and there that something was wrong.I told him as I tried to sound brave but my voice cracked and I wept.
I did not go to school for the next many days as I remained with my mom and slowly my resistance towards my step dad started giving way. I tried to make her happy in every possible way I can. Suddenly everything else in the world seemed less important .

The day I went to school again , I looked out for someone. I did not see him. I must have scared him off that day. I got out late from school and as I got out, I saw him sitting there . I hesitated and slowly went and sat beside him. He looked at me and smiled, his eyes brightened up for the first time.

‘ I am sorry about the other day…its just that ..’

‘Its very nice of you to come and speak to me lady. I thought you were scared of me…’ he said in a weak voice

‘Why do you keep staring at me everytime you see me?’ I asked him just like that. After learning about my mother, nothing else mattered to me, not even speaking to a stranger on the road.

He looked at me and looked down ‘ you remind me of my daugher’ he said .

I looked at him unable to say anything.

‘ She looked just like you at your age. I miss her so much ..’ he did not say anything more.

His daughter had gone missing when she was of my age 15 years back and till today he doesn’t know where she is. He was very close to her the way my father was to me .His wife is no more and his business ran into a loss and he lives in a small house near to our school doing small time jobs to keep himself going.

‘ Its whenever I come here and see you , that I feel happy , I feel like am seeing my daughter again’ he said and smiled ‘ though I did wish you spoke to me!’

I smiled back at him overcome by a feeling that I could not explain.

I sat there for a long time after he left ,thinking about him and my step dad. Suddenly things had toppled over again , but now, everything fell in place as I saw the correct picture. I felt the silence around me as everyone had left with just a few far away noises of someone laughing . I got up slowly and walked home.
I met my friend the next day as I walked to the library.

‘ Hey, how are things at home’ he asked with concern

‘ Things are better’

‘ I saw you talking to that old guy yesterday!’

‘You were right, I was thinking too much. I was wrong in misjudging others .’ I said with a smile

He grinned back at me mischievously

‘And your step dad? what about him?’

I looked at him, ‘ Not my step dad … my dad is doing fine’ I said to him as he looked at me with a big smile on his face and gave me a big hug.